Just A Thought.... Gnarls Barkley inspired

Aug 10, 2010

Sitting back on this lounge chair of life.
Supposed to be relaxed but it feels more like a bed of nails.
Thin as needles and just as painful.
Though I am not bleeding, I feel like my soul is pouring out.
Moisture of tears.
Sliding down my face like water from a shower. Flowing in massive amounts, they refuse to stop like waterfalls.
I have fallen.
Not dropped to my ass but my knees have so become bloody and ashy.
There was no one to catch me.
No open arms and open hearts to gather my tears.
I'm in a great depression within myself.
Between broken spirit, swollen heart, dry eyes, restless body, aching mind.
Unable to sit still, I wonder when my time in life will slow down.
Maybe I have fallen to Earth's unimaginable timing.
Of all the space that I have, I now feel completely alone & I don't like the company.
I prefer something more like invited space where he can be encountered.
I can go on & on & on, but who cares?
I wish you were here.
Attacking this sorrow and building miniature smiles that I couldn't perform in myself.
If there was something in you that I couldn't see, maybe that secret could make some happiness for me.
Listen to my life, take my cries as calls for the surrendering fight from battle.
You be my hero, be my warrior, my savior.
Take me away and let us run far.
Off into another state, another land where we aren't known.
Start something new and take life as our own.
I want to see that for us.
A future.
Yet, right now I'm just stuck.
Living in my pain and sorrows.
Only seeing a dream with no dejavu.
Just A Thought.

-QueenSoulSista

Solar Eclipse***

Even when the sun drops and the Earth aligns its stars with the moon, you were still seen.

In my eyes, on my Planet.

Now you've fallen like death on Darkness Falls.

Darkened days encounter the space and take over where I held you a little bit closer.

Squeezed you a little bit tighter like the roots of flowers underneath the Earth.

Wanting to have the buds all to themselves as I did so that no one could share your beauty.

But the mixture between natural light and water makes all flowers grow.

Must have the urge to share your beautiful hues with the world!

So until night falls, the stars duties are on call.

Waiting for the Sun to set, and cross paths with the Moon.

Where his light is diminished and blackened for minutes at a time to Space and the Earth.

Stagnant.

Like having something taken from you, just so you can see the power and message that that item had brought into your world when its not there anymore.

Then maybe you can get it back.

As minutes pass the darkness fades and your light may be shone again.

And yet again, everyone has been amazed at the vision & experience that the Moon can do to the Sun at a certain point and time that the Earth orbits.

But what had the darkness shown you?

-QueenSoulSista SpaceyM... Neptune's Pisces.

I Am not Torn!

July 28, 10

I am caught up between an Outer Place called Space;
And the life of normality that some call Earth.
This is a blissful place full of lust & love.
Easy to distinguish from a heart that knows & have experienced both in her own eyes.

I am not stuck, I am not torn.
Unlike fashion, I am not worn.
I feel renewed, reborn.

One glance & smiles fill my face with his love.
Like hugs from afar, I can still feel his presence.
Like art, he is my muse, my painting brush; my created essence.

He knows how to joke around with my heart.
A feeling that couldn't quite be expressed by words, so I endure this art.

I am never fearful of his love,
Never afraid to embrace what he has to share.
Never a price to pay. His heart is a priceless gift.
I encourage his love. His heart.

We are developed, created & adorned.
And from his heart & love. I am not worn.

-QSS

Translate

August 7, 10

Hello Sir!
"Hello Ms!"

How are you today?
I hear love is coming your way.
"I guess so. Sometimes I don't know!"

What is knowing when feeling has more to do with what is real?

The real that escalates your equilibrium & balances you on a nonstop high.

Higher aura that carries your hues to be so vibrant & blind to others.

The other illiterates not able to see or taste the colors that love has delivered.

Someone was delivered to you & are meant to be kept; sincere & serene.

Like cyrins, she is euphoria & mystical to the point of being misinterpreted.

Not able to interpret or understand her cause because she is just, there.

If there was a "man"ual to her, maybe she would be able to be seen & read.

But why read what was made for hands to feel?

She is braille to your vision, like sign language on your hands, she spells out the linguistics that your eyes translate to your heart.
L
O
V
E

-QueenSoulSista

Added Stress

July 21, 10

There's a bit of added stress circulating in my mind.
Even more between work & friendships.
Family & future hearts.
Things that I don't want to deal with, but life is life.
I shouldn't be complaining because I'm just receiving my blessings, as they are. Whatever they are.
I don't know but I don't feel like having any weight added onto my shoulders.
I guess only time will tell what the future will bring.
I am hopeful & faithful.
Knowing I'm not the only one dealing with many issues at the moment but I try not to question why all the added stress seems to be centered around me.
I'm going to fly high in my prosperity when all is said and done.
SUCCESSFULLY ADDING STRESS.

-QueenSoulSista

Shaky Success

Told to peace a 5 line poem

July 22, 10

While I sit back & contemplate my future, I wonder who's sitting back watching me.

Thoughts that appeal to my mind & fingers in a lovers passion, like art & sex.

It is the combination between created essence & expelled excellence, I can't stop these gifts.

Presence of his sunlight illuminates the motivation of life that quakes in my nerves.

A forceful inspiration that keeps my hands shaking while I engulf his careers, as my success.

-QueenSoulSista

Freeflow! true story of me! "I left my heart on the steps"

I left my heart on the bottom step of the escalator.
I didn't want to take the ride up or down because I knew where it would lead me.
Back in the same spot again.
I even tried to talk to you & let you see that one part of me.
The part that cries & actually spills out my real emotions.
I sat on the phone with you twice but I don't think you heard me crying.
Walking through the mall with tears down my face but I didn't care.
I wasn't ashamed.
I just wanted to feel CARED for by your heart not your words.
Considered. Acknowledged. Read. Encouraged. Dedicated.
Even if it was only some time for you to just sit there.
Be by my side & watch me pour out my heart about nothing or something.
In front of you.
Not by phone or text.
But I had to cover my own wounds & stitch my own heart back into pieces.
None back in the same place as they fell.
I don't know how I'm still breathing.
How didn't I take my last breath last night & be the only one left to tell my story.
No one chooses to read me.
When I put one emotion in front of the other.
Like footsteps but I can't go back & retrace them when I get lost.
I only lose the feelings I once had.
I won't read anymore.
I hate being able to read into people who can't read me.
I will no longer be psychic to people & being able to know what they feel even when they don't.
Its like a story with no ending.
I read into people & constantly drop everything for them.
I go out of my way to be there for people because my mind & heart makes me.
I listen to people pour out their pity petty stories of their hearts.
Encountering them as if it were my own problems.
Carrying others stress & bullshit lives.
Though never seeing, that when Its my heart on the line.
Standing in front of that down arrow of the escalator....
No one cares to see, or attempt to catch me if I am taking that step into a downward tunnel of my own emotional downfall.
I constantly hear people say I have a crazy strength about my life that is hard to figure out......
I still sit & wonder why people attempt to want to figure me out but when I'm CLEARLY at my worst.
I call out for their help.
Just to be in my presence.
But in my eyes, it always fails.
They stray away or don't truly care enough to make time & I am once again, left, alone.
No one sees, that when I cry, is when I need someone the most.
I never cry!
When I do, I am clearly on a low that is hard for me alone to pick up.
It is an unusual test of my spirit that invites few in, to see the truth in my heart.
To see the REAL essence that a person like me has.
But everyone always misses out.
I don't want someone to claim to be worried about me.
I don't want to hear someone say that they care about me.
Why claim something?
Why say anything out of your mouth & not take ownership of your words?!
Actions speak LOUDER!
So again I cover my footsteps & move on to another chapter in my life.
Alone.
As usual.

"They say a smile & tears is the most beautiful things that you can share with a person. But how much beauty is in you tears if your watered vision is the only one that sees them & you have to wipe them away, all alone?" -QSS

Withered Waters

Eyes as red as the sea.
Either dried out from air or drowned from water.
Tears fallen.
She is displaying her emotions as they get ignored.
Thrown to fire she is burned to death like cremation.
No smoke involved.
Just throw the flames to her heart and watch her scream.
It isn't loud but I know you see her death rising.
Ashes encompass the clouds but she still invites the sun to enter.
No warmth to a cold heart of morbidity.
Discouraged and dismissed.
She is fed to the werewolves of her soul.
Eating at her emotions and licking her blood for thirst.
Not cleaning the wounds, they devour her essence.
Left with brittle bones and shattered life.
Scarred and naked for the world to see.
She cries out but the world falls to selective hearing.
Encouraged by smiles, they choose not to see her tears.
Covered ears to ignore her cries.
They walk past her broken spirit and kick it just by saying nothing.
To a broken heart that opens to all others.
She gets abandoned when it is she left to cry out.

"Cover your heart, cover your emotions. No friend is a real friend unless they can take the time out for you as you rightfully do for them." -QSS

Insanity!

Psychotic visions of driving off walls, only to fall in love with you.
I would let the car crash onto the ground & not get hurt because your love would protect me.
No scraps & bruises, only slit wrists & throats from you holding my hands & caressing my neck.
I feel the tingling sensation you bring, like the ghosts of dead people trying to collect my soul.
I watch them & talk to the inside my dreams of insomnia.
Delirious insight to the words you say to me, like inspiration for death & dishonor.
I follow you.
I'd even jump off of Mt. Kilomanjaro if my schizophrenic friends told me to.
But I'd only be doing it for you, with an evil grin on my face because I have a crazy love for you.
Its not decieving because I'm only into receiving your ever deadly bullet.
I would drink my own blood & yours to keep replenishing the life of my being.
Only for you.
Some might call me obsessive, but to me, its only being a little selfish & I would leave this Earth selfless for you.
Sometimes I pull triggers from gun ranges in my bathroom mirrors.
And maybe I do pull the noose from my hanging post a tad bit tighter than most.
I like to jump, just to feel that snug strangling feeling around my neck for when your hands aren't here.
When I sleep, I enjoy tying my pillow to my face so that I slow my breathing near death to feel high in the morning.
I do these things out of the deep love I have for you, "because I know that everything in life must come to an end, & when it does, I hope that you remember me!" -MosDef

-QueenSoulSista