Style Me......

Let me define individual style....I dont see the lights that we call fashion as a means for attention. My sense of style is only for me. I dress the way I feel. Others dress to be seen. People wear certain things and labels as a means to fit in society & to be accepted by their peers.

You shouldnt have to dress a certain way to be accepted. If people dont like you because of your clothes, then you dont need to surround yourself with those people. I have a spiritual freedom to the way I express myself. I am the voice that no one can speak for. Walking in my own shoes.

As a visual artist & seamstress having a fashion design & merchandising major in college. I can appreciate the aesthetic of apparel more than the normal shopper. The term fashionista sits with me, BUT..... I am more of a collector of natural, authentic vintage apparel. Antiques always give me a sense of purity by witnessing fashions from the 50s & 60s. The textiles were stronger and more luxuriously fit. Garments were manufactured better items werent rushed through mass production factories. I am more of the Natural hippie chic, unisexed business casual, urban, galactic goddess inside her own realm. Very different & extremely eclectic. Never caring what anyone things.

Shoes & undergarments.... My main accessories in life. I'd rather live my life naked in my natural, beautiful skin..... But we all know that is not possible, maybe. Anyway, I can honestly say my fetish is for shoes. I will buy 3 pair of shoes before I even think about buying clothes to wear with the shoes. I always saw it harder to buy clothes, then have trouble finding shoes to match. I see it happen too much. I have a thing for having what no one has, & recreating items with my art.

Victoria's Secret, Chuck Taylors, high heels & alot of vintage no names.... Loafers, silk high-waist briefs (granny ps), thigh high socks, neckties, suspenders, cords, corset bustiers & bras, cardigans, retro eyeglasses, mens blazers, high waist pants, equestrian boots, button up shirts & vintage or organic cotton retro tshirts & skirts. Though im more of a black colored woman when it comes to a color palette for my wardrobe, there is always a natural toned accessory or piece that accompanies & compliments the dark tone. Blacks, greys, whites & blues. Anything with great textile & design aesthetic, strong fabric quality.

Artistic value has alot to do with what I choose to buy and wear on my body when it comes to apparel. My clothes define parts of who I am as a person because I let my clothes speak for me. My personality is strong because im not afraid to challenge the norm and create my own box. Disregarding what society has to say about me. Compliments come from confidence and the way you carry yourself in what you wear. If the clothes dont fit or feel right, then I dont feel right. And its not very often that I dont feel right. Love what you wear & wear what you look. Whether your clothed or not. Accept your gifts & be confident in you. -QueenSoulSista

Midnight Spirit

06/04/11 (1am)

Upon the stars I gaze into your heart.
A constellation of arteries that tell the stories of your soul.
Voyaging through the dark vessels of your deepest desires.
I read you.
Connecting stars as dots that pour together the blood in your veins.
Feeding into your brain that is the home of who you are.
A bomb in the night sky.
Scattering awakened eyes to meaningful dreams & empty promises across the atmosphere.
Breathing you in, I hear the songs of your existence.
Past, present & future visions read between the spaces where stars aren't aligned.
You are the spirit flute I dance to.
Over burning fire wood, I throw enchanted ash to the flames that reach your heights.
Heightened mind frames, elevated heart.
You reach back to me.
In the night.
Beyond our being.
Midnight Spirit.

-QSS.

What is Mother's Day?!?

Since I was 13, I wasnt really too fond of Mother's Day. My mother passed away August 21, 2002 when i was 12 and since then, I didnt really care to celebrate for any reason.

I understand how people always say that we should still celebrate for all the other mothers in the world, but this "holiday" closely means nothing to me anymore.

I've become closeminded to this day, as I've done in the same sense that Father's day means a bunch of donkey ass to me. I havent seen or heard from my father since I was 7 yrs old. I dont even know that bastards real name, and its sad that my family doesnt either. I only share his last name. So orphan I am. Shame right? lol, maybe, maybe not.

Today it makes me a little bit more tense as well, that my sister starts a lil mommys group "Momtourage" with all her "mother" friends and I try to close my ears to it, but I get asked to help on certain things. Which I dont want to help with because I cant be included because I dont have kids, and dont want kids anytime soon. Not jealous, but would like to not hear about it. I dont know. I guess there are a million things that I dont connect with from my sisters. Of course Im the Martian of the family so I stray away from the Kids and having a family thing. Yes Im the youngest but I have just as much stuff going on as the next person.... so should I be counted out?

I dont know... back to subject. Mothers Day can be a little painful at times just thinking and watching others embraces their mothers and kids, so I feel that I shouldnt join in those festivities of life because I am without both. Yea I have(had) a grandmother, whom I dont speak to for many unGodly reasons, and yes my sisters have kids, but I constantly am out of the loop because I dont feel those joys that my Mother could bring me. I've forgotten the little bit that I once felt and hate that I was so young not to have the same memories that my sisters shared with my mother.

Im not bitter, and these arent cries for help or attention, just know that, when I dont show happiness or enthusiasm around these times, its because I seriously feel that I have no reason to. I know there are plenty of people in the world that can relate to this because we all have those losses and misfortunes that change our lives forever, but we cant carry them as burdens on ourselves. Its just the feeling that we have and cant relay by showering others with gifts, flowers and cards, when we cant shower the one woman who gave us the greatest gift we have, LIFE!

I guess these are the many reasons that I have grown to be so independent, because I feel that I've never really have a bond, or the motherly teacher to show me how life is and teach me what I should do as I was growing on. I had to learn everything practically on my own. Good and bad, those lessons in life have built me to be the strong, independent, outspoken, forthright, strong willed, artistic woman I am today. Through everything, I am still learning, without the advice children get to call and ask their mothers about, so I call to myself forthe answers I need in life. No one can make you be who you are, but there should always be someone there guiding and helping you along the way. Where is my guiding light?!?