I left my heart on the bottom step of the escalator.
I didn't want to take the ride up or down because I knew where it would lead me.
Back in the same spot again.
I even tried to talk to you & let you see that one part of me.
The part that cries & actually spills out my real emotions.
I sat on the phone with you twice but I don't think you heard me crying.
Walking through the mall with tears down my face but I didn't care.
I wasn't ashamed.
I just wanted to feel CARED for by your heart not your words.
Considered. Acknowledged. Read. Encouraged. Dedicated.
Even if it was only some time for you to just sit there.
Be by my side & watch me pour out my heart about nothing or something.
In front of you.
Not by phone or text.
But I had to cover my own wounds & stitch my own heart back into pieces.
None back in the same place as they fell.
I don't know how I'm still breathing.
How didn't I take my last breath last night & be the only one left to tell my story.
No one chooses to read me.
When I put one emotion in front of the other.
Like footsteps but I can't go back & retrace them when I get lost.
I only lose the feelings I once had.
I won't read anymore.
I hate being able to read into people who can't read me.
I will no longer be psychic to people & being able to know what they feel even when they don't.
Its like a story with no ending.
I read into people & constantly drop everything for them.
I go out of my way to be there for people because my mind & heart makes me.
I listen to people pour out their pity petty stories of their hearts.
Encountering them as if it were my own problems.
Carrying others stress & bullshit lives.
Though never seeing, that when Its my heart on the line.
Standing in front of that down arrow of the escalator....
No one cares to see, or attempt to catch me if I am taking that step into a downward tunnel of my own emotional downfall.
I constantly hear people say I have a crazy strength about my life that is hard to figure out......
I still sit & wonder why people attempt to want to figure me out but when I'm CLEARLY at my worst.
I call out for their help.
Just to be in my presence.
But in my eyes, it always fails.
They stray away or don't truly care enough to make time & I am once again, left, alone.
No one sees, that when I cry, is when I need someone the most.
I never cry!
When I do, I am clearly on a low that is hard for me alone to pick up.
It is an unusual test of my spirit that invites few in, to see the truth in my heart.
To see the REAL essence that a person like me has.
But everyone always misses out.
I don't want someone to claim to be worried about me.
I don't want to hear someone say that they care about me.
Why claim something?
Why say anything out of your mouth & not take ownership of your words?!
Actions speak LOUDER!
So again I cover my footsteps & move on to another chapter in my life.
Alone.
As usual.
"They say a smile & tears is the most beautiful things that you can share with a person. But how much beauty is in you tears if your watered vision is the only one that sees them & you have to wipe them away, all alone?" -QSS
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Withered Waters
Eyes as red as the sea.
Either dried out from air or drowned from water.
Tears fallen.
She is displaying her emotions as they get ignored.
Thrown to fire she is burned to death like cremation.
No smoke involved.
Just throw the flames to her heart and watch her scream.
It isn't loud but I know you see her death rising.
Ashes encompass the clouds but she still invites the sun to enter.
No warmth to a cold heart of morbidity.
Discouraged and dismissed.
She is fed to the werewolves of her soul.
Eating at her emotions and licking her blood for thirst.
Not cleaning the wounds, they devour her essence.
Left with brittle bones and shattered life.
Scarred and naked for the world to see.
She cries out but the world falls to selective hearing.
Encouraged by smiles, they choose not to see her tears.
Covered ears to ignore her cries.
They walk past her broken spirit and kick it just by saying nothing.
To a broken heart that opens to all others.
She gets abandoned when it is she left to cry out.
"Cover your heart, cover your emotions. No friend is a real friend unless they can take the time out for you as you rightfully do for them." -QSS
Either dried out from air or drowned from water.
Tears fallen.
She is displaying her emotions as they get ignored.
Thrown to fire she is burned to death like cremation.
No smoke involved.
Just throw the flames to her heart and watch her scream.
It isn't loud but I know you see her death rising.
Ashes encompass the clouds but she still invites the sun to enter.
No warmth to a cold heart of morbidity.
Discouraged and dismissed.
She is fed to the werewolves of her soul.
Eating at her emotions and licking her blood for thirst.
Not cleaning the wounds, they devour her essence.
Left with brittle bones and shattered life.
Scarred and naked for the world to see.
She cries out but the world falls to selective hearing.
Encouraged by smiles, they choose not to see her tears.
Covered ears to ignore her cries.
They walk past her broken spirit and kick it just by saying nothing.
To a broken heart that opens to all others.
She gets abandoned when it is she left to cry out.
"Cover your heart, cover your emotions. No friend is a real friend unless they can take the time out for you as you rightfully do for them." -QSS
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Insanity!
Psychotic visions of driving off walls, only to fall in love with you.
I would let the car crash onto the ground & not get hurt because your love would protect me.
No scraps & bruises, only slit wrists & throats from you holding my hands & caressing my neck.
I feel the tingling sensation you bring, like the ghosts of dead people trying to collect my soul.
I watch them & talk to the inside my dreams of insomnia.
Delirious insight to the words you say to me, like inspiration for death & dishonor.
I follow you.
I'd even jump off of Mt. Kilomanjaro if my schizophrenic friends told me to.
But I'd only be doing it for you, with an evil grin on my face because I have a crazy love for you.
Its not decieving because I'm only into receiving your ever deadly bullet.
I would drink my own blood & yours to keep replenishing the life of my being.
Only for you.
Some might call me obsessive, but to me, its only being a little selfish & I would leave this Earth selfless for you.
Sometimes I pull triggers from gun ranges in my bathroom mirrors.
And maybe I do pull the noose from my hanging post a tad bit tighter than most.
I like to jump, just to feel that snug strangling feeling around my neck for when your hands aren't here.
When I sleep, I enjoy tying my pillow to my face so that I slow my breathing near death to feel high in the morning.
I do these things out of the deep love I have for you, "because I know that everything in life must come to an end, & when it does, I hope that you remember me!" -MosDef
-QueenSoulSista
I would let the car crash onto the ground & not get hurt because your love would protect me.
No scraps & bruises, only slit wrists & throats from you holding my hands & caressing my neck.
I feel the tingling sensation you bring, like the ghosts of dead people trying to collect my soul.
I watch them & talk to the inside my dreams of insomnia.
Delirious insight to the words you say to me, like inspiration for death & dishonor.
I follow you.
I'd even jump off of Mt. Kilomanjaro if my schizophrenic friends told me to.
But I'd only be doing it for you, with an evil grin on my face because I have a crazy love for you.
Its not decieving because I'm only into receiving your ever deadly bullet.
I would drink my own blood & yours to keep replenishing the life of my being.
Only for you.
Some might call me obsessive, but to me, its only being a little selfish & I would leave this Earth selfless for you.
Sometimes I pull triggers from gun ranges in my bathroom mirrors.
And maybe I do pull the noose from my hanging post a tad bit tighter than most.
I like to jump, just to feel that snug strangling feeling around my neck for when your hands aren't here.
When I sleep, I enjoy tying my pillow to my face so that I slow my breathing near death to feel high in the morning.
I do these things out of the deep love I have for you, "because I know that everything in life must come to an end, & when it does, I hope that you remember me!" -MosDef
-QueenSoulSista
Thursday, July 29, 2010
When Pigs Fly
***Everyone eyes forward to me!
Thank you!
If we make change in our lives, it is not always inevitable. We must make time move as the clock! That is which truly inevitable, but less than what Space can say.
If time make change, where is the left over money in this world that we struggle for. No pennies left on the floor so who's billions are we fiGhting for?
Look to your hands and pull from your pocket a dollar bill, ones we didn't make so its not our blood left to spill!
But we pick up the monetary values left to call materials that don't last for a year and a half because fashions change to fads and are left to recycle for another five years to come.
Radical interchangeable Collectives.
So spending the money on millions is dumb! Knowledge holds a meaning that space exudes and exceeds an Earthlings time here on this world.
So yet again, time that was told to be inevitable is just a variable in the millions of scientists concoction of lies to keep you believing that everything is alright.
But in Reality, if time lasts forever, so does humans, but not thinking that we are supposed to die and that's where pigs, shoot us down and begin to fuckin fly! There is only Space, No time. Build an element and exceed its importance.
-Space Martian QSS. Queen.
Thank you!
If we make change in our lives, it is not always inevitable. We must make time move as the clock! That is which truly inevitable, but less than what Space can say.
If time make change, where is the left over money in this world that we struggle for. No pennies left on the floor so who's billions are we fiGhting for?
Look to your hands and pull from your pocket a dollar bill, ones we didn't make so its not our blood left to spill!
But we pick up the monetary values left to call materials that don't last for a year and a half because fashions change to fads and are left to recycle for another five years to come.
Radical interchangeable Collectives.
So spending the money on millions is dumb! Knowledge holds a meaning that space exudes and exceeds an Earthlings time here on this world.
So yet again, time that was told to be inevitable is just a variable in the millions of scientists concoction of lies to keep you believing that everything is alright.
But in Reality, if time lasts forever, so does humans, but not thinking that we are supposed to die and that's where pigs, shoot us down and begin to fuckin fly! There is only Space, No time. Build an element and exceed its importance.
-Space Martian QSS. Queen.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Its Amazing!
07/05/10
Its amazing.
How you enter someones world & completely change their aspects on views of the world.
Like how one second, he's there, but you've walked forward & filled thoughts of me being your girl.
Its amazing how this light, fills me with warmth, & tingles my blood to splatter my veins.
Its amazing that my views have been filled too deep; with your passion & love, for expressions & freedom of laughter.
I see you, we glance, we smile.
Two artists quarrel between making laughter a recipe for progression into one anothers hearts.
Deep into your membrane I read passages of excellence, pain, strength, & trials.
You make this endeavor the journey on the path to nowhere.
Our planets where Earthlings aren't allowed, but I invite you to Neptune. To share my world of eclectic, artistic passion & happiness.
Where CARE means Creatively Assessing Realistic Expressions.
And I want to read into your core.
Amazingly Creating the Bass in depth of Love & Art.
Banging on the Canvas' drum, pressing your keys.
Its amazing.
How you enter someones world & completely change their aspects on views of the world.
Like how one second, he's there, but you've walked forward & filled thoughts of me being your girl.
Its amazing how this light, fills me with warmth, & tingles my blood to splatter my veins.
Its amazing that my views have been filled too deep; with your passion & love, for expressions & freedom of laughter.
I see you, we glance, we smile.
Two artists quarrel between making laughter a recipe for progression into one anothers hearts.
Deep into your membrane I read passages of excellence, pain, strength, & trials.
You make this endeavor the journey on the path to nowhere.
Our planets where Earthlings aren't allowed, but I invite you to Neptune. To share my world of eclectic, artistic passion & happiness.
Where CARE means Creatively Assessing Realistic Expressions.
And I want to read into your core.
Amazingly Creating the Bass in depth of Love & Art.
Banging on the Canvas' drum, pressing your keys.
When I See You
07/05/10
When I see you, I see a vision of effervescent light that shines from Gods prayers.
Into my heart, your smile collides & corrodes the circumference of my arteries.
The way we see each other, like peeling back the Earths core to embed our love in the layers.
Burning down the walls that couldn't keep Berlin inside of Hells' slaveries.
When I see you, I want to be set free, into the arms of life where breathing isn't required.
Like drinking from the liquor of your love but there is no age limit to set standard of your love intoxication.
Taking shots to gather the numb feeling that your essence captures to my lips & blood flow, heated & fired.
Deep burning, sensual vibrations that surface through my body by one touch from your hands into my heart.
Turning on the imagery, when I see you, pictures of cherubs catching arrows to hearts & making fiction reality in our storybook of love.
Once told to the ears of open hearts that minds can't tell sight to overlook the message we share within the part.
Lessons, into chapters, into parts, into sequels, played out by art.
When I see you, I see a vision of effervescent light that shines from Gods prayers.
Into my heart, your smile collides & corrodes the circumference of my arteries.
The way we see each other, like peeling back the Earths core to embed our love in the layers.
Burning down the walls that couldn't keep Berlin inside of Hells' slaveries.
When I see you, I want to be set free, into the arms of life where breathing isn't required.
Like drinking from the liquor of your love but there is no age limit to set standard of your love intoxication.
Taking shots to gather the numb feeling that your essence captures to my lips & blood flow, heated & fired.
Deep burning, sensual vibrations that surface through my body by one touch from your hands into my heart.
Turning on the imagery, when I see you, pictures of cherubs catching arrows to hearts & making fiction reality in our storybook of love.
Once told to the ears of open hearts that minds can't tell sight to overlook the message we share within the part.
Lessons, into chapters, into parts, into sequels, played out by art.
Say You Will
07/05/10
As the sun illuminates the dark, her vision becomes more clear.
There are no good landing ships on this journey back to her home land.
So clear is her mind & bright are her eyes, where sight is the shifted gear.
No glare from mirrors or flashing lights, no angels needed for a guided hand.
He is here, the savings in her piggy bank of loves.
Fighting the war that her past lovers & leavers left raging in her heart.
She is cold, freezing deep like the ice in your blood from too thin gloves.
An element that Earth did not conduct to be more than deaths worthy part.
Into her eyes, he speaks deep with his actions of expression.
Not a word said but his hands guided her closer into the lecture that his eyes read.
Deeper & deeper, she gains a feeling, once unknown, now gathered the reflection.
Views into his eyes, a soul is felt, read, & the recipe baked by words, she is fed.
As the sun illuminates the dark, her vision becomes more clear.
There are no good landing ships on this journey back to her home land.
So clear is her mind & bright are her eyes, where sight is the shifted gear.
No glare from mirrors or flashing lights, no angels needed for a guided hand.
He is here, the savings in her piggy bank of loves.
Fighting the war that her past lovers & leavers left raging in her heart.
She is cold, freezing deep like the ice in your blood from too thin gloves.
An element that Earth did not conduct to be more than deaths worthy part.
Into her eyes, he speaks deep with his actions of expression.
Not a word said but his hands guided her closer into the lecture that his eyes read.
Deeper & deeper, she gains a feeling, once unknown, now gathered the reflection.
Views into his eyes, a soul is felt, read, & the recipe baked by words, she is fed.
Artistic Love
07/05/10
If I was looking into your eyes, I would make time stop so I could keep the everlasting image of life into your soul.
The real views of all possibilities made to bring truth forward. Something that Earth can't recycle because your vision is clear. Pure.
Insight to my heart from the matter in my brain says that you matter. You who are here now more than ever could speak to my watches hands.
Those touching closely to you. Rubbing expressions & emotions inside your brain through the deepness of your roots. From scalp to nerves.
The nervous system that speeds up when you are in unison with my physical & mental realm. Calling forth unrealistic verbs made attainable by two.
If I was looking into your eyes, my sight would be clearer, days made brighter as your words became my heart beats. Collectively bringing life into my soul. We become one in two rhymatic vocal bursts of artistic love.
If I was looking into your eyes, I would make time stop so I could keep the everlasting image of life into your soul.
The real views of all possibilities made to bring truth forward. Something that Earth can't recycle because your vision is clear. Pure.
Insight to my heart from the matter in my brain says that you matter. You who are here now more than ever could speak to my watches hands.
Those touching closely to you. Rubbing expressions & emotions inside your brain through the deepness of your roots. From scalp to nerves.
The nervous system that speeds up when you are in unison with my physical & mental realm. Calling forth unrealistic verbs made attainable by two.
If I was looking into your eyes, my sight would be clearer, days made brighter as your words became my heart beats. Collectively bringing life into my soul. We become one in two rhymatic vocal bursts of artistic love.
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